Bar Talk

22 year old female bartender on why seeing her ex-boyfriend when back in Pittsburgh is creepy:

"He's super chill. Which is cool. But beyond chill. He comes across as gay.

What was I thinking?"


Male Hollywood agent of indeterminate age describing the phenomenon of waking up with someone asleep on your arm, about whom you think "What was I thinking?":

"They call it coyote ugly. You just want to chew your own arm off so you can sneak out without waking her."


Different bar:

Woman of about 40 who has just that minute finished taking her optician exam:

I know a joke. Do you want a Hertz donut?

She is met with silence. She punches the guy next to her.

Woman [to guy]: Hertz, donut?

Me: Ow.

Woman: I got that from Family Guy.