"I wish I had more fun in college.  Today's students are more lighthearted, which should stand them in good stead when they are unemployed."

    Walter Mondale on the life of the college student today.

Robert Benchley says . . .

"If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natual laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from."

OTSOG

I was thrilled that you put it in footnotes, because every generous footnote now is a blow to reclaim footnotes from the judgment of an ill-informed audience that believes that David Foster Wallace invented them and therefore no one else gets to use them. This in a world where Nicholson Baker plainly invented the footnote!

Jonathan Lethem, to Geoff Dyer in BOMB Magazine #117, temporarily online:  http://bombsite.com/issues/117/articles/5988

But also

His tongue was a more potent weapon than his penis, or so it seemed to be during this period of his life . . . his tongue was always capable of thrusting, curling and whirling its way into her good graces; and as his mouth was upon her he was conscious not only of the luxuriance of her loins but also that he was making a literary connection with Henry Miller.

Gay Talese, describing a college-aged Al Goldstein.

Telephone conversation overheard on line in a museum:
Do you have those little signs that you put on cheeses?